Hey there friend! 👋
Grab a cozy seat because we’re about to embark on a journey through the twists and turns of friendships, sprinkled with a dash of science and a lot of heart. You know, that feeling when you’re surrounded by people, yet loneliness taps you on the shoulder like an unexpected guest? Yeah, we’ve all been there.
Let’s dive into the science behind it all—cue Dunbar’s Number. Ever heard of it? Picture this: you’re at a bustling gathering, and Dunbar’s Number is basically the limit to the number of meaningful relationships you can maintain at that gathering. It’s not just about how many names you can remember, but Dunbar’s Number helps us understand what relationships go beyond “just friend” and help us understand whether someone is “in” your circle or is too far away from that meaningful connection point that your basic needs must have met to call them a “good friend”. It’s like the VIP list for your emotional connections.
Now, here’s the plot twist: what if you’ve got the quantity but are still feeling a bit adrift? Don’t worry, we’re here to navigate that maze together and turn those friendships into meaningful connections that fill your heart.
As a conditioned extrovert, now settling into my journey of acceptance that I’ve always been a natural introvert, (which I guess kind of makes me an ambivert or… omnivert??? Insert my confused face here lol), it’s been challenging for me to fully comprehend why, at times I’ve felt more “okay” if you will with being alone, and not needing like air… so many relationships. Whereas, if I were to compare to my extroverted friends, it appears that nothing else BUT the 1:1 quality time with every single person is the oxygen they need to be and stay alive.
Either way, the perplexing challenge of understanding our own feelings of loneliness can certainly be revealed and healed through the following three steps I’m going to offer you to experiment with.
Step 1: The Mirror Chat
Grab a mirror, and let’s have a heart-to-heart. Reflect on your current friendships. Are they soul-nourishing or more on the acquaintance side? It’s not about the number; it’s about the depth. Sometimes, we’re so caught up in the social whirlwind that we forget to prioritize those relationships that truly matter. Take note of the connections that bring joy, support, and genuine laughter into your life. Your needs and what makes that quality of connection might evolve overtime. That said, what has become more apparent to you, as time has passed?
*Evolve tip: Reach out to those friends who make your soul dance. Share a goofy memory or simply let them know you appreciate them. It’s like giving your friendships a little boost of sunshine. Plus, gratitude always goes a long way – especially when delivered at random.*
Step 2: The Storytime Expedition
Let’s add a splash of quirkiness to the mix! Think of your friendships as a collection of stories. What tales do you share with your buds? Adventures, mishaps, triumphs—they all contribute to the unique narrative of your relationships. Share your stories, and encourage your friends to do the same. It’s like creating a treasure trove of shared memories that become the glue holding your connections together. Plus, the laughter that comes with looking back at all the challenges you’ve overcome, all the humility that comes from reflecting on mistakes, and all the lessons you’ve been able to learn as time passes… there isn’t anything more special than sharing that.
*Evolve tip: Plan a storytelling night with your friends – you can even leverage Evolve’s Storytelling Deck if you want. Pop it open on your phone and click for the next card. Everyone takes turns sharing a memorable experience. It’s like a cozy campfire chat, but without the mosquitoes.*
Step 3: The Mindful RSVP
Ever found yourself surrounded by people, yet feeling strangely alone? Time for a mindful RSVP to your social events. It’s not about attending every gathering; it’s about choosing events that align with your vibe. Quality over quantity, remember? Be intentional about your social calendar, and watch as your meaningful connections blossom.
*Evolve tip: Before committing to an event, ask yourself, “Will this bring me joy? Will I connect with others authentically?” “Is this a HELL YES?!” “Is this a full body yes?”If the answer is a resounding yes, go for it. If not, give yourself permission to gracefully decline.*
[Some of the best decisions of my life were saying ‘no thanks’ and living wholeheartedly in “JOMO”.]
So, there you have it—our quirky guide to banishing loneliness. Remember, friend, it’s not about the number of friends you have but the quality of connections you nurture. Let’s turn those gatherings into heartwarming hangouts, one meaningful friendship at a time.
Here’s to filling your life with laughter, love, and friendships that feel like warm hugs on a chilly day. Cheers to banishing loneliness together! 🌟
We hope you take the time to let this sink in, and honor yourself, your growth journey, your mental health and your well-being as our social relationships really do bring us so much goodness, if we’re curating them in accordance with our needs. If you’re struggling with this and feeling lonely, let us support you in that journey when you are ready.
DM, book a FREE call or email, and let us know how we can support you in your unique growth journey ahead.
Love & light,